KATHMANDU:  Nepal is currently navigating a complex transitional phase, moving steadily toward the adoption of democratic values and norms. As the nation lunges toward capitalism, markets are expanding and the country is adapting to new rules and systems; yet, amidst this structural progress, the social fabric is beginning to fray. This transition is further complicated by the rise of new media, which has introduced a transformative dimension by connecting individuals from every corner of the globe.

In the three and a half decades since the restoration of multi-party democracy, we have begun to believe more in rights. Overall, society is moving toward establishing human rights, women’s rights, and the rights of citizens as a whole. When talking about social institutions, it ultimately hits upon the individual. Due to all these factors, individuals are becoming important. Consequently, individual desires are increasing among people. Private happiness and freedom are becoming paramount. The family, community, and the institution of marriage appear to be fading. For all these reasons, divorce between couples is increasing in Nepali society.

Various issues are expressed in people’s daily lives. When analyzing the broad causes of divorce, foreign employment appears as the primary reason. When a husband and wife are geographically distant, it leads to emotional distance, suspicion, distrust, and extramarital affairs, resulting in quarrels that reach the point of divorce. Due to economic pain and compulsion, no family is in one place today. A single family is split and living in two or three different places. Some are in the Gulf for labor. Some have reached Europe or America for studies. Some have reached Kalapahar in India to earn money. The situation of parents, husbands, and wives living separately in villages and cities, or at home and abroad, is increasing rapidly. In such a society, many types of fragmentation occur. A rift can emerge between husband and wife.

A single family is split and living in two or three different places. Some are in the Gulf for labor. Some have reached Europe or America for studies. Some have reached Kalapahar in India to earn money.

The second reason connected to divorce is mobile phones and social media. With the availability of mobiles in every hand, there is a situation where easy contact and dialogue can happen with people from one corner to anywhere else. Women and men of one country are indirectly connected with people of another country. Today, it is not difficult to get information about the customs, lifestyles, and various subjects of other countries through the internet and social media. This increases expectations, new thinking, and desires in people. It feels as though these issues are also fueling the dissolution of marital relationships.

The third aspect is linked to the time following the multi-party system. In terms of the legal aspect, Nepal is becoming more flexible. The law has continued to establish people’s rights. Women’s rights have increased legally. Property rights and the gender empowerment of women are progressing. Women have started feeling that they do not have to live suppressed or dominated by men. This has developed not just women’s expectations, but their way of thinking. In a society gripped by patriarchy, those women who stood up against such familial suppression and violence felt a sense of freedom. The law has provided the facility to easily file for divorce. Because of this, the number of women heading to court for divorce rather than living suppressed and dominated by their husbands like their mothers and grandmothers did in the past may have increased.

In Nepali society, marriage is viewed religiously as well as culturally. It is considered a sacred bond between two individuals.

Recently, there has also been empowerment in women’s education and professions. Specifically, an increase in women in higher education is visible. This has led women toward empowerment and taught them to be free and independent. They are becoming economically self-reliant. The traditional gaps between men and women have decreased. An economically capable individual cannot live suppressed by anyone. Once economically independent, they become capable of deciding whether to live alone or with whom to live.

In Nepali society, marriage is viewed religiously as well as culturally. It is considered a sacred bond between two individuals. Previously, marrying off a daughter was called ‘Kanyadan,’ meaning the gift of a maiden. The thought was that once a gift is given, it does not return or cannot be returned. Because of this, even if bitterness arose in the marital relationship or domestic violence occurred, women remained enduring it. They would live by making compromises, thinking that if the household broke, it would ruin the prestige of their parents’ home. Now, even though the practice of ‘kanyadan’ exists in marriage, women’s thinking has changed. The concept that a husband and wife are partners has developed. This has made relationships more flexible. Previously, the family was important. The family held great significance. Now, gradually, individual happiness and satisfaction are gaining importance. This is modernization.

Previously, marrying off a daughter was called ‘Kanyadan,’ meaning the gift of a maiden. The thought was that once a gift is given, it does not return or cannot be returned.

When we talk about traditional marriage, we must go into the characteristics of Eastern and Western societies. In Eastern society, the family system is predominant. The bonds of marriage, society, and family are considered important aspects. A strong and supportive family is expected. In Europe and America, however, the family fragmented a long time ago. When looking at the divorce rates there, we cannot compare them with Nepali society’s.

However, our society is gradually turning away from Eastern civilization and leaning toward a Western lifestyle. This is not a strange thing. This is because democracy came from there. Capitalism came from there. That is why it sometimes pushes a family member from a village to a city, and sometimes from the country to Qatar or the UAE. The society it builds is exactly like this.

More than overall human rights, being strong educationally and professionally along with personal freedom is individual strength. Previously, people were asked about the family’s profession. Now, every individual is asked about their profession. Currently, the individual is prominent. Once entering a broader rights-oriented system, the individual is bound to become primary.

(Based on a conversation with Sociologist Luitel.)